Splintering (Link Click, Lu Guang/Cheng Xiaoshi, rated E, 3/3)

[outstretched]

Title: Splintering (3/3)
Rating: E
Word Count: (this chapter) 3,557; (entire fic) 15,586
Genre: Character Study, Drama, Romance
Fandom: Link Click
Characters: Cheng Xiaoshi/Lu Guang
Warnings: Cheng Xiaoshi/male OC, Gender dysphoria, Pronoun confusion, Dissociation, Panic attacks (in detail), Self-harm (scratching, brief), FTM Lu Guang, Voyeurism (Lu Guang), Inability to consent due to lack of information (male OC), Dubious consent that shades more towards noncon (Cheng Xiaoshi), Service top/topping from the bottom Lu Guang, and a metric ton of pining
Summary:

Lu Guang licked his lips. His eyes tracked across Cheng Xiaoshi's face—his dark eyes, his cheekbones, lingering for a second on his mouth before flicking away.

"For this case," he explained, "You have to have sex."

(—Jumping through photographs, jumping through bodies: a discussion of gender through time travel.)

Notes: Here's what I was thinking about when I wrote this fic.



Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Tag

Cheng Xiaoshi woke the next morning from his usual tangle of weird dreams, feeling more refreshed than he had in ages. He started to stretch, but froze when his arm brushed something warm and solid, and looked down to find Lu Guang sleeping beside him. He blinked, his memories of the night before coming back. It felt distant now, numbed by a night of sleep and by Lu Guang's presence. Thinking about last night's dive felt more like poking an old scar than a raw nerve.

The sight of Lu Guang asleep wasn't an unusual occurrence; while they shared poor sleeping habits, Lu Guang was also fond of catnaps. Cheng Xiaoshi often found him with his arms folded and his chin tucked to his chest in random places throughout the house, on the couch in the waiting room or the work chair in the back of the darkroom. Only rarely did he make it to his upper bunk to sleep.

What made the sight novel was the proximity, which allowed Cheng Xiaoshi to study the smooth curve of his cheek, the near-iridescent dark smudges under his eyes, without interruption. He was close enough to count his eyelashes, close enough to hear each soft effortless exhale. Lu Guang radiated a comfortable heat as he slept, his cheek smushed against the pillow, the lower half of his face hidden from view by the cupped hands that tucked close to his mouth.

He looked younger like this. Cheng Xiaoshi grinned, wondering if he should take a photo to remind Lu Guang who was the older one between them, saving it to use the next time he fussed too much. His hand fumbled for his phone, but the movement jostled Lu Guang awake.

He blinked as he woke up, his eyes hazy before they shot open. He lunged upright, one hand pressed against Cheng Xiaoshi's chest and the other smearing across his mouth. Cheng Xiaoshi took in his jittering, embarrassed gaze, the hectic flush that spread from his cheeks to the tips of his ears, and burst out laughing. He grabbed Lu Guang's bracing hand and pulled it forward, overbalancing him to topple forward onto his chest.

Lu Guang was a stiff, bristling weight on his body, enduring Cheng Xiaoshi's laughter. He didn't say anything, but he didn't try to get away, either. Cheng Xiaoshi wrapped his arms around his upper back to hug him closer, rocking back and forth a little as he laughed.

"Ah, Lu Guang," he cooed when he could speak again. "It's so much better when you act your age."

"What are you talking about," he grumbled, voice muffled against Cheng Xiaoshi's shirt.

"Did you sleep well?" Cheng Xiaoshi continued, his hand coming up to rest on Lu Guang's hair, petting his rumpled bedhead. "You know, I've always thought your hair is so soft. Maybe I should try your shampoo?"

"Don't you dare," Lu Guang huffed, but his eyelids drooped as Cheng Xiaoshi rubbed the sensitive skin behind his ear, the irritation draining from his voice as his body relaxed. "Get your own."

"You won't even let me try it? A favor," Cheng Xiaoshi dipped his head to whisper into Lu Guang's ear, "for your new boyfriend?"

Lu Guang's breath caught. Cheng Xiaoshi watched the color flame across his face with giddy fascination, his eyes following as it spread down his neck and beneath his sleep shirt. Cheng Xiaoshi could see a peek of his clavicle, staining a delicate red in the shadow beneath the collar.

Oh.

When he didn't say anything more, Lu Guang peeked up at him. Whatever he saw on Cheng Xiaoshi's face made his eyes grow curious. "Cheng Xiaoshi?"

Cheng Xiaoshi's hand trailed down, following the path the blush had taken. His fingers skimmed down the side of Lu Guang's neck, his pinky tucking beneath the loose collar. Lu Guang licked his lips, his eyes fluttering, and tilted his head to give Cheng Xiaoshi better access.

His thumb moved across his bared neck, a delibrate stroke. "Lu Guang, can I kiss you?" Cheng Xiaoshi whispered.

It felt natural when Lu Guang slid up and sealed their mouths together. One kiss blurred into two and then three. He'd started to suspect this the night before—though it wasn't not like he had anything to compare it to, so he couldn't be totally sure—but it seemed like Lu Guang was a really good kisser: unhurried, and thorough, and alert to anything that made Cheng Xiaoshi shift beneath him or gasp into his mouth. It was fascinating, to learn things about himself at the same moment that Lu Guang learned them: that when Lu Guang sucked on his tongue, it shot sensation down his spine all the way to the soles of his feet; or that he liked having his lower lip nibbled on more than the upper one. Lu Guang dragged his teeth over the plush swell of it, pulling it taut, before releasing it with a soft pop. Their breaths mingled as Cheng Xiaoshi gasped against Lu Guang's mouth, a reedy noise escaping him. Lu Guang's hands ran down his chest, kneading and massaging as they worked down his sides, leaving trails of heat in their wake. Cheng Xiaoshi pushed himself up off the mattress just to feel the firm, reassuring pressure of their bodies against each other. Lu Guang tugged on the hem of his shirt, and Cheng Xiaoshi slipped it off.

Lu Guang tipped towards his mouth again, but Cheng Xiaoshi seized the back of his shirt and yanked his collar up and over his head, trapping him inside it. "It's not fair if it's just me!" Cheng Xiaoshi called as Lu Guang reared back with a yelp. He squirmed inside the shirt like a cat in a pillowcase, trying to get it the rest of the way off, and Cheng Xiaoshi laughed as he helped pull him free.

Lu Guang was pouting when he finally worked the shirt off, his reddened lips adding to the effect. Cheng Xiaoshi had thought him gorgeous the night before, in the piecemeal light from the streetlamps outside; in the full light of morning he was a vision, his skin glowing, his muscles standing out in sharp relief as sunlight spilled across his body.

Lu Guang picked up both their shirts and folded them with a practiced flick of his wrists and fingers, too fast for Cheng Xiaoshi to track, before he put them aside. His eyes were dark with desire when he turned back to Cheng Xiaoshi, but he didn't crowd back into his space. Instead, he hesitated before scooting back to pull his sleeping shorts off, too, rising to his knees and shimmying them down his hips, leaving his underwear on. Cheng Xiaoshi's eyes dropped to them as if magnetized. Lu Guang blushed, but didn't try to hide himself.

Cheng Xiaoshi expected to see a tent in his boxers, a suggestion of shape from the fall of the cloth, but instead the fabric had a smooth, skintight curve. He glanced up. Lu Guang was looking at him, trying to look calm and not quite managing it.

"I'm trans," he said.

Cheng Xiaoshi blinked. His eyes darted across Lu Guang's body before returning to his face. "Oh."

Lu Guang's soft voice carried a slight edge. "Is that a problem?"

"What? No," Cheng Xiaoshi replied automatically, his mind racing. He looked up, his mouth dropping open as something suddenly made sense. "Oh..." he said again, not noticing Lu Guang's subtle flinch, "that's why you kept asking if I really wanted to do that dive."

"...Oh," Lu Guang echoed after a moment, sitting back on his heels. The tense line of his shoulders eased. "Yes."

"And why you knew what to do when I..."

He didn't have the words to describe it. Lu Guang nodded anyway, understanding.

"You get it," Cheng Xiaoshi said.

He nodded again. "I get it."

There was a pocket of silence as they both studied each other.

He'd never seen the shape of Lu Guang's body this clearly, what with all those baggy clothes he wore, which now made sense in a new way. He had a masculine chest. His nipples were large, their edges slightly jagged, and pulled taut in the cool air of the morning. Cheng Xiaoshi could see for the first time the way his tapered waist flowed into his narrow hips and strong thighs, his pale hair growing coarse as it traveled down his body.

Cheng Xiaoshi sat up, leaning forward to touch, but was stopped when Lu Guang seized his wrist in one firm hand.

"It's not fair if it's just me," he repeated, eyes glimmering.

Cheng Xiaoshi felt a spike of nerves, but he wasn't about to let Lu Guang act the braver of the two of them. He struggled onto his knees, yanking down pajama pants and boxer briefs in one fell swoop, and nearly tipped over as he tried to kick everything off. Lu Guang lunged forward to steady him, and eventually Cheng Xiaoshi slid off the bed to stand beside it, shimmying everything down and stepping out of the last of his clothes. He shivered lightly as he straightened, all of him bare to Lu Guang's hungry gaze. His cock bobbed in front of him and twitched once as Lu Guang watched.

Lu Guang scooted to the edge of the bed, his hands alighting on Cheng Xiaoshi's hips and his thighs spreading to bracket Cheng Xiaoshi's legs. He licked his lips, glancing up at Cheng Xiaoshi's face, before he leaned forward and took him into his mouth.

"Lu Guang!" Cheng Xiaoshi gasped, his hands flying to grab the railing of the top bunk as his knees buckled. Lu Guang steadied him by wrapping his arms around Cheng Xiaoshi's hips, pulling off of him only to nuzzle at the juncture of his hip and thigh.

"Easy," he murmured, "I've got you." He looked up again, his eyes intense. "Are you all right with this?"

Cheng Xiaoshi couldn't stop his hips from kicking forward. Lu Guang rocked with the motion, turning his head so that he smeared across his open mouth as he moved. A whine crawled out of Cheng Xiaoshi's throat.

"Should I stop?" Lu Guang asked again, leaning back. Cheng Xiaoshi looked down, drinking him in: dark eyes, white hair still messy from sleep, soft lips slightly parted, cheeks pink. He was clearly into it, but Cheng Xiaoshi had no doubt that Lu Guang would stop unless he replied, so he burst out, "If you stop I'm gonna die."

Lu Guang's eyes warmed. "I doubt it."

"Please don't stop."

"All right," he said, and leaned forward with a lolling tongue.

Cheng Xiaoshi made a punched-out sound when Lu Guang's mouth made contact again. His lips made a tight seal and moved down slowly, his tongue flicking at the ridge around the head as he went. It was hot, and wet, and soft, the strong movements of his tongue juxtaposing the smooth slide of his crown against Lu Guang's hard palate.

He watched as he disappeared into Lu Guang's mouth, centimeter by centimeter. He couldn't stop the noises he was making, or the way his hips kept trying to jerk his way deeper inside. Lu Guang's grip was firm on his hips now, holding him fast. All he could do was watch and feel, eyes stuck on the bit of him that was still outside of Lu Guang's mouth, looking at the wet junction where he and Lu Guang were connected.

Lu Guang's cheeks hollowed with rhythmic, slow suction, his eyes falling closed as his tongue lapped at the head. Cheng Xiaoshi's hands white-knuckled the railing as he gasped for breath, each exhale a shuddering whine.

"Lu Guang," he whimpered, mindless, "Lu Guang, Lu Guang, please."

Lu Guang drew back, letting the underside bump along the firm press of his tongue on the entire way out. "Good boy," he rasped, sending a hot flash of pleasure and embarrassment straight to Cheng Xiaoshi's gut. When he pressed forward again, he didn't stop. Cheng Xiaoshi slid in, and in, until the head was squeezed by the slick hot pressure of his throat.

"Wait wait wait I'm going to come," he gasped out, and Lu Guang pulled back with a slight cough.

"Not yet," he replied, and Cheng Xiaoshi's eyes squeezed closed at the trace of roughness in his voice. Lu Guang's breath washed over him as he spoke, and his cock jerked.

The meager handful of times that Cheng Xiaoshi had touched himself were nothing compared to this. His arms were shaking, his body curled forward over Lu Guang, shocks of sensation rolling through him. He struggled within himself, trying to ease back from the edge that Lu Guang had brought him to so quickly. Lu Guang pressed soft kisses to his inner thighs, his hands massaging the tense muscles of his lower back. When Cheng Xiaoshi opened his eyes again, Lu Guang was shamelessly watching his face to catalogue all of his reactions. He bit his lip, and in response Lu Guang smiled.

"Better?" Lu Guang said.

His dick throbbed with pressure, and his heart pounded in his ears, but his mind felt a little more clear. "Yeah," he said, "but I s-still might not last long."

Lu Guang licked his lips. "We could always do more later," he answered, "if you wanted." His eyes went half-lidded, and Cheng Xiaoshi could feel his gaze on his skin like a physical touch. "So what do you want? Do you want to come? Or do you want me to draw this out for as long as I can?"

The sound of Lu Guang's low, resonant voice saying filthy things so casually went straight to his stomach. Just the thought of being teased like that made his toes curl. "I'd go crazy," he breathed.

"You wouldn't," Lu Guang said, but his smile was wicked. His grip on Cheng Xiaoshi's hips had eased, and now his thumbs were massaging the tender insides of his thighs, leaving trails of sensation as they rubbed the delicate tendons there. "Tell me what you want, Cheng Xiaoshi. Should I finish you off, or make you wait?"

Cheng Xiaoshi licked his lips, feeling paralyzed. His thoughts were a jangling mess of arousal. "Please," he whispered again.

"Please what?" Lu Guang's mouth inched closer, hovering over the tip.

"Oh my god," Cheng Xiaoshi whined, "Lu Guang, please s-suck me, I can't."

"You want to come?" he asked.

Cheng Xiaoshi nodded furiously, his eyes squeezing shut.

There was a pause, as Lu Guang considered his answer. Then he said, "Lie down on the bed. I don't want you to fall."

Cheng Xiaoshi collapsed onto the mattress, allowing Lu Guang to gently push him onto his back and nudge his hips more towards the center of the bed. Lu Guang draped his body on top of Cheng Xiaoshi, and after standing naked in the cool air for so long, the heat of his body was a shock. He could feel where Lu Guang's boxers had grown damp, but when he tried to reach for it, Lu Guang caught his hand and gently led it away. Before Cheng Xiaoshi could feel chastised or worried, Lu Guang was kissing him again, driving every thought from his head. When Lu Guang pulled away, a strand of saliva glistened between their lips before snapping.

"Lift your head," he said, and arranged the pillow beneath Cheng Xiaoshi's head when he did so. Then he kissed down Cheng Xiaoshi's body, kneading and smoothing the way with his hands and following every touch with his lips. It was impossible for Cheng Xiaoshi to not arch into it, or stop his helpless whimpers. When Lu Guang arrived at the juncture of Cheng Xiaoshi's thighs he found him red and twitching, the tip flushed purple. He licked his lips as he took in the sight, the movement seemingly unconscious.

"Lu Guang," Cheng Xiaoshi begged.

Lu Guang flicked a glance up at him, then grasped him in one firm hand and swirled his tongue over the head. He was focused this time, no more teasing: cheeks hollowing as he sucked with a languid rhythm, saliva dripping from his mouth for his hand to slide messily through. His tongue flickered against the delicate frenulum and Cheng Xiaoshi dug his hands into Lu Guang's shoulders, his entire body twitching and jerking. "I," he gasped, "Lu Guang—" and then he was flung off the edge, the crash of pleasure whiting everything out. Come spilled from Lu Guang's mouth and down over his balls as he shuddered through the aftershocks, Lu Guang holding still, just giving him a wet warm place to come back to his senses in. He was lightheaded from breathing too fast. The space between his legs felt tender, as if he'd pulled something by coming so hard. His body was trembling all over, and when Lu Guang pulled away, he couldn't stop a tiny cry as that last bit of stimulation rubbed across his oversensitive head.

Lu Guang leaned over the side of the bed to discreetly clear his mouth with a tissue. They were both sweaty and sticky, but Cheng Xiaoshi still craved Lu Guang's body against his with a bone-deep desperation, and he felt a pulse of relief when Lu Guang pressed their bodies together again. He flung his arms around Lu Guang and squeezed. Lu Guang let out a deep sigh, nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

After a minute, one thought struggled to the surface of his blissed-out brain. Cheng Xiaoshi nudged Lu Guang's shoulder. "What about you," he mumbled. "You didn't..."

"In a minute," Lu Guang answered, his voice muffled. The answer was enough to make him settle again, his eyes closing.

He drifted for a few minutes. He felt Lu Guang cup his cheek, his thumb sliding over his bruised lower lip and setting off a twinge of sensation, before shifting around him. When Cheng Xiaoshi opened his eyes Lu Guang was leaning over him, grinding subtly against his thigh. He made a surprised noise, and Lu Guang leaned back to look at his face.

"Sorry," he said. He sounded breathless, his eyes dilated like a cat's. "Is it okay if I just...like this?"

He could feel the damp spot that Lu Guang had already left against his skin, and more than that, feel the faint tremble that ran through Lu Guang's body. "Mm," he said, not awake enough to repress the loopy smile that spread on his face. "Yeah, that's really hot, go for it."

Lu Guang blinked, his cheeks red, and then gave a tiny nod. His thrusts became more deliberate, speeding up, his eyes glazing over as his hips worked. Cheng Xiaoshi gripped his hips, pressing them more firmly against his thigh, and between both their efforts Lu Guang's rhythm grew even faster. The soft burr of friction against his thigh was vanishing, the fabric of his boxers growing more slippery the longer Lu Guang moved, and he could hear Lu Guang's breath shortening as he got closer. His teeth dug into his lower lip, his closed eyelids fluttering. His exhales grew louder, turning into a soft, "Ah, ah," that punched out of him with every snap of his hips.

Lu Guang came with a full body shudder, shoving his forehead hard against Cheng Xiaoshi's shoulder as his body arched and bucked. Cheng Xiaoshi kept Lu Guang's hips pinned against his thigh, feeling the strength of his body as he lurched in his hold, as each uncontrolled twitch set off a fresh burst of pleasure. His hips kept moving for another few moments, arrhythmic, Cheng Xiaoshi holding him down, until Lu Guang fell limp.

Lu Guang naked and raw and crying out above him, gripped entirely by the pleasures of his body: it was the hottest thing he'd ever seen. He definitely wasn't sleepy any more. "Good?" Cheng Xiaoshi asked.

Lu Guang didn't open his eyes, his forehead crammed against Cheng Xiaoshi's shoulder. He pressed a kiss to the skin there, one hand wavering into the air before falling back against Cheng Xiaoshi's chest.

"Good," he panted, and promptly collapsed, bouncing a little as his side hit the mattress. Cheng Xiaoshi laughed, gathering his lax body up.

As their bodies cooled off, Cheng Xiaoshi could feel the sweat and stickiness growing clammy on his skin. Lu Guang gave a thin whine. "Gotta clean up," he groaned. "And the store..." He rolled over and made a halfhearted grope towards the edge of the bed.

Cheng Xiaoshi pulled him back. "I'll do it," he said. "Just leave it to me."

"Mm," Lu Guang said, cracking his eyes open to peer at him. "Just...this once..." After a few moments, his breaths fell back into a steady, sleepy rhythm.

When Cheng Xiaoshi sat up, Lu Guang didn't even move. Cheng Xiaoshi draped a sheet over him to ward off the cold and staggered upright to scrounge up supplies, yawning and stretching as he went. He almost couldn't believe the last hour had really happened, but the mess they'd made of each other and the bed put paid to that.

One sketchy shower for himself, one quick wipedown with a warm wet cloth for Lu Guang (who only reacted with a scrunch of his nose), and one sign on the door saying Closed for the day, and Cheng Xiaoshi felt he'd kept his word and then some. He slid back into bed, sighing when Lu Guang roused just enough to wrap a sleepy arm around him and tug him in close.

He felt and listened to the soft tide of Lu Guang's breath. It felt like everything between them had changed, but also, nothing had. He'd extended his trust over and over over the past 24 hours—both of them had—and never once found each other wanting.

Partners, he thought, wondering at the new weight of it, before he closed his eyes.

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