masu_trout: Delicious. ((PKMN) Lyra *Ho-oh*)
Masu Trout ([personal profile] masu_trout) wrote in [community profile] thingwithfeathers 2013-03-14 05:29 am (UTC)

*Screeches*

Eek, I can't believe I didn't see this before! It's absolutely lovely-- I love how you characterize White, and the hints of her past in lines like White's real life is, has always been, in the tunnels. And I really love the mental image of White growing up as a part of the subway. I also love this line a ton: White rides without reaching for a handhold, bending her knees and shifting her weight to accommodate for the turns and rattles that she knows by heart. It's great characterization and a just plain gorgeous sentence, too.

Basically, great job!

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